Even though the Devil is the master behind MySpace, sadly I have recently reawakened it as a huilty pleasure. The most delightful experience of my subservient decadence is reading the surveys various people post as bulletins. As crazy as it may seem, I love learning people's stories. It's why I am a sucker for cheesy sports profiles and captivating documentaries. I can actually watch PBS. Sometimes though, the really clever ones inspire me, sparking a desire to be clever and witty. I know most of the audience doesn't get my stuff. Sometimes I realize only I enjoy it. But I don't want to be on MySpace right now. So I'll do the survey right here.
The point of the survey is to go and put your music player on shuffle and see what happens. Now it is not specific. Should I shuffle my entire library? Or is it the item I am currently playing? Do I get to pick a playlist? I'm choosing the most latter. My whole library might yield answers like "1844 Overture" and my current playlist too narrowly themed to yield consistent answers. The playlist is the Ultimate Playlist, a collection of five star songs.
1. How are you feeling today?
Midnight (A Tribe Called Quest )
Umm does it count that I'm starting this at 23:47 Eastern Daylight Time?
2. Will you get far in life?
4 Ever (Lil' Mo)
Okay it could mean that I'll go far forever or it could mean the farthest I get is marriage, which I admit would be kind of nice to be in.
3. How do your friends see you?
No I Ain't Gangsta (Loon ft. Jamie Foxx)
4. Will you get married?
Ante Up (Remix) (M.O.P. ft. Busta Rhymes, Remy Martin, & Teflon)
Is this a reference to a phrase I'll hear from future wife, children, and various invoicing agents?
5. What is your life's theme song?
Back Up Offa Me (Talib Kweli)
Yeah. What he said.
6. What is the story of your life?
The Rhyme (Jay Dee Remix) (Keith Murray)
I'm just as confused as you
7. What was/is high school like?
Open Your Eyes (Bobby Caldwell)
8. How can you get ahead in life?
Losing My Way (Justin Timberlake)
Maybe I should go on a trip. Maybe I should be a travel writer.
9. What is tomorrow going to be like?
Star (The Roots)
10. What is the best thing about your friends?
Water (The Roots_
I guess this could mean they are essential and without them I would die.
11. What is in store for the next weekend?
Give In (4Hero ft. Darien Brockington & Phonte)
I am so into giving into a weekend
12. What song best describes you?
If Its Lovin That U Want (Rihanna ft. Corey Gunz)
That is so on point except lets replace "boy" for everytime Rihanna says "girl"
13. How is your life going?
Stay With Me (Platinum Pied Pipers ft. Tiombe Lockhart)
Uhh yeah well the song is kind of fast paced and bubbly
14. What song will play at your funeral?
Number One (John Legend)
A playful song about cheating but I'd like to focus on the title
15. How does the world see you?
All N My Grill (Missy Elliott ft. Nicole Wray & Big Boi or MC Solaar, depending on jurisdiction)
Am I really that confrontational? And here I thought I needed to turn up the aggressivenees.
16. Will you have a happy life?
What You Want (The Roots ft. Jaguar)
I guess since it is what I want I will have it
17. What do your friends really think of you?
Chanel No. Fever (De La Soul)
I think this is meant to mean that I am hot. I have smart friends. Though I remain humble.
18. What song describes the person you're attracted to?
Soul Rebels (Reflection Eternal ft. De la Soul)
Rebels to the system that love themselves. Sounds earthy and backpacky to me. And yes I am kind of attracted to that type. Such a prescient shuffle.
19. What message would you like to tell the next generation?
I Can Love You (Mary J. Blige ft. Lil' Kim)
Yes. Yes I can.
20. Do you have a deep dark secret?
Funky For You (Common ft. Bilal & Jill Scott)
Exactly. I mean, What?
21. How can I make myself happy?
Hot Damn (Clipse ft. Ab-Liva, Pharrell, Roscoe P. Coldchain)
22. Will I ever have children?
Thisisme (Common Sense)
It is in me to bear and raise children. The shuffle has spoken!
23. What's some good advice for me?
Push Up Ya Lighter (The Roots ft. Bahamadia)
God strike me down if I manipulated the shuffle. I mean after some of the other answers don't you think I would have done that already.
24. How will I be remembered?
Heard 'Em Say (Kanye West ft. Adam Levine)
My wise words might actually be remembered. Or my wit. Or just maybe I will continually derided for overwrought stories and unnecessary dramatics. Or just my superfluous style of writing.
25. What is my signature dance song?
60 Bar Dash Freestyle (Sean Price)
Well it makes no sense. But if you listen it's got a good tempo and he speaks of a world I could my id would reside if it were actually a person.
That was a little fun. I need a life.
Now playing: Thicke - I'm A Be Alright